This one is a little off topic, but we couldn't resist.
Here's a great way to drive ratings: Arbitron diaries via eBay.
Here's an enterprising soul who has two for sale for the current ratings week.
The text for this listing is tremendous. We love this line:
Just when you thought it couldn't get any better ...
YOU WILL RECEIVE NOT ONE (1) but TWO (2) ... YES, THAT'S RIGHT ...
Here's a link to the original listing on eBay.
Here's a PDF of the listing in case the eBay listing gets removed. Download eBay-Arbitron-Diary.pdf (It would appear that the bidding on this item HAS been shut down - we forwarded it to our Arbitron contact as soon as we saw it.)
Here's the text of the listing...
- valid for the week of March 29, 2007 through April 4, 2007 - ONLY!
Our household was selected to complete the Arbitron Radio Ratings Diary. If you would like an opportunity to particpate in a significant marketing research tool, and potentially impact the makeup and content of the entertainment provided via the magic of radio waves, here's the perfect opportunity.
Why, you may be asking yourself, would someone be interested in purchasing this?
Just think about these possible reasons ...
- do you have a favorite station that you would like to see succeed in the ratings?
- are you an on-air personality that needs to boost your shows ratings?
- sock it to Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly! vote for the competition!
- are you in radio advertising sales? need to get those numbers up?
- are your opinions more valid than anyone else you know?
- will your conscience allow you to let this fall into the hands of someone less qualified?
- feeling guilty about the demise of Air America? vote for quality radio for a change!
- tired of those potty-mouth FM DJ's? A Christian station could use your support!
This is a unique opportunity to affect the "balance of power" in the radio market.
As an added incentive to all the above stated reasons, this survey has a bar code*. I assume (since it was sent specifically to my house) that this bar code says something like "middle age white male living in upscale suburban neighborhood" ... you can really 'stick it to the man' by voting for:
107.9 FM - La Que Buena
1150 AM - KBIS, Asian Radio, Dallas
620 AM - KMKI - Radio Disney
97.9 FM - KBFB,The Beat - The HipHop Station
* disclaimer: I really don't know how all this works. I'm guessing that the Arbitron folks know that this diary is "supposed" to be from the Dallas market - but hey, they let you list internet radio listening so who knows!
The ratings period begins March 29. The auction will end on Friday, March 30 and the diary will be sent overnight on Saturday to the winning bidder. You must follow the instructions (included at NO CHARGE!) if you have any hope of getting your diary accepted by Arbitron. There is no guarantee that your diary will be accepted into the ratings book, but hey, it's worth a shot, right?
The winner will receive the diary and all pertinent instructions. That's it. Aside, of course, from the potential opportunity for significant impact on the makeup and content of broadcast media!
... err, your opinion? ... ah, personal preference? ... oh, whatever, you know what I mean ...
HEARD!!
Just when you thought it couldn't get any better ...
YOU WILL RECEIVE NOT ONE (1) but TWO (2) ... YES, THAT'S RIGHT ...
TWO Official Arbitron Radio Ratings Diaries
THAT'S TWICE THE INPUT FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!!!!
WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE VALUE!!!
Folks, you know you don't want to pass up this opportunity. Think of the children! You could be affecting the broadcast radio market in your neighborhood for generations!**
** (well, probably not, but I was always told to that if you can/t use s3x to sell something, try kids - worth a shot, no? )
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